HELLO?!!!! SHES FUCKING RIPPED
THE FUR??? HIS ARMS???
i’m not mentally prepared for this movie
Moana concept art and visual development by Ryan Lang.
Frodo…I swore to protect you.
#lotr#sometimes I think about how real authority - real kingship especially - is at heart service and submission#and how Aragon spends his life (ranger or king or friend) serving others#kneeling before them#affirming the kingship of other kings EVEN THOUGH he sometimes outkings them!!#and the moment of his greatest authority is really a submission of his will to his vocation#when I say I sometimes think about this#I mean easily 2-3 times a week (via byjovimbeinghumble)
Marvel movies have completely eliminated the concept of practical effects from the movie-watching public’s consciousness
Not just practical effects just like. Basic set design lol
How… How do they think sci-fi was done before CGI?
Really badly? Do you remember sci-fi before CGI? It was shit. And don’t say Star Wars because they went back and fixed that with CGI later.
*big sigh* *puts head in hands* heathens who’ve never watched pre-MCU sci-fi movies OR the unedited Star Wars movies, my beloathed
So first of all, most people agree that the majority of the “CGI fixes” in the Star Wars original trilogy (excluding minor visual/sound effects like lightsaber colors and blaster sounds) are unececssary, extremely conspicuous, and/or bad. This is not news to literally anyone older than about 20 who has consumed Star Wars content on any level. There are quite literally two very famous ‘despecialized’ fan projects explicitly dedicated to un-doing all of the shitty “fixed” CGI effects while simultaneously restoring the OT in HD.
And yes, I do, in fact, remember sci-fi special effects before CGI was the foundational cornerstone of moviemaking. It was not, in fact, shit:
Also, ironically I can show you by….*gasp* using fucking Star Wars, of all things. Welcome to the Tatooine pod race set of The Phantom Menace, which was not, as popularly believed, CGI’d but was instead a fully-built miniature set:
Yes, they built the entire set as a minature, built life-sized pod racers for the actors, then spliced the two together using digital effects. Yes, they did such a fantastic job that people think the entire set and scene sequence was basically completely CGI’d to this day. You’re fucking welcome for undervaluing the time, effort, and talents of set designers by implying that set design and practical effects inherently mean things will look like shit.
CGI also ages really poorly. What you think looks incredibly realistic now is going to look terrible in a few years. Just look at the original vs remastered Star Trek. They “restored” Star Trek around 2006 and replaced a lot of the practical effects with CGI, and maybe it looked ok in 2006, but it looks so bad and fake now.
You can see a video comparison for one episode here: https://youtu.be/ruPVTPCavdM
In the 60s they built a whole model of the Enterprise, complete with blinking lights and beautifully sculpted/painted details. It looks stunning! Then they replaced it with that horribly smooth and fake looking cgi ship.
Just look at this beauty
You can see the model at the Air and Space Museum in DC
Unfortunately the remastered version is the only version available to stream, but you can still find DVDs with the original effect.
made in 1968 and still stunning 2001 A Space
Odyssey
the designers worked with engineers at NASA to make realistic futuristic special effects using models and matte paintings no computer effects at all! - and incidentally inspired David Bowie to write Space Oddity, later performed in space by astronaut Chris Hadfield
The CGI of the original Jurassic Park may not be aging well (though arguably still better than some), but the practical effects will always look stunning.
I want to talk fantasy.
This shot was achieved with splicing and green screen.
This wild-looking shot (and similar manipulations) was famously achieved by having a professional juggler in a duplicate of Bowie’s jacket and gloves sitting behind him, basically with Bowie in his lap, doing the handwork while Bowie kept his arms behind the juggler. You may have seen a game based on this on Whose Line Is It Anyway.
This? Wires! Splicing! THE CGI TO DO THIS DIDN’T EXIST YET! (The juggler is hidden under the cape. If there’s a scene where he’s wearing a cape, that’s actually probably why.)
And this? This heartstopping shot?
This does appear to be from the version with CGI—
—CGI THAT WAS USED TO ERASE THE SHADOW FROM THE PRACTICAL EFFECT.
The shot itself hasn’t changed. The lift itself was done with wires and Bowie was given some propulsion with an air cannon so he could make that turn at speed. A minor amount of CGI was used in the 30th anniversary to “touch up” the work done in 1986, and one of the things they did was to remove a shadow on the wall from one of the wires.
How about this?
You don’t know it, but you’re looking at a practical effect. In real life, the Ruby Slippers are almost orange. That luxe, rich ruby color showed up on the film as black when the shoes were the correct color, so the costumers adjusted the actual costume to give the color they wanted.
A MODEL OF A HOUSE SHOT INSIDE A NYLON STOCKING ATTACHED TO A FAN.
MAN IN A COSTUME.
HORSES DUSTED WITH COLORED GELATIN.
And this? This is where it would’ve been useful to have CGI. Margaret Hamilton got really badly burned on the steam doing one of her entrance/exits, and ended up in the hospital. THIS is what you use CGI for.
You come into my house and insult practical effects?
I’ll just finish off by reminding you THIS IS ONE, TOO.
That last one, iirc, was there was a double in a sepia-toned costume, and the interior door and wall there was painted brown, so when it was lit and shot it all appeared to still be in the sepia tone of the Kansas scenes, and part of why Dorothy stepped back out of the frame was so the double and Judy Garland (in the proper blue-and-white costume) could swap.
You are correct. The double’s name, by the way, was Bobbi Koshay.
There are also a lot of backgrounds that are matte paintings!
Lord of The Rings used some incredible miniature sets too.
The real reason CGI has taken over is not because it creates better effects (although it is very useful!) but because it’s cheaper. The practical effects artists have union protections. CGI artists don’t.
Fic Recs: Jaskier and the Kaer Morons
Y’all need to stop asking for fic recs because I have over four hundred AO3 bookmarks and no self-restraint.
Anway, @moongoddesskiana asked for fics with Jaskier and the Kaer Morons! The brilliant @penandinkprincess recced the first three, all of which are amazing. Then I attempted to filter through my bookmarks and found the rest! Some have more Jaskier and some have more Kaer Morons, but all have at least some of both. There’s a lot of variety, so hopefully everyone can find something they like!
~
If You Give a Bard a Lute by @ghostinthelibrarywrites
(Rated T, 10k, Geraskier)
Jaskier’s father disowns him and takes all his posessions, including his lute. When Geralt finds out, he won’t let it stand, and recruits the other witchers to help them steal the lute back.
If I Must Starve (Let it be in Your Arms) by Igneum807
(Rated M, 31k, Geraskier more or less)
Lambert and Eskel learn how nice it is to be cuddled by a bard. The whole series is absolutely wonderful.
Weak and Wanting by @sociallyawkward–fics
(Rated T, 36k, Geraskier)
Geralt invites Jaskier to Kaer Morhen for the winter. Lambert and Eskel decide to play matchmaker.
Chance Met on the Road and How Bold by theimperialbogmonster
(Rated T, 1k and 7k respectively, Geraskier)
The two works in a wonderful series. Eskel joins Geralt and Jaskier on the path and manages to knock some sense into them.
How Different Wolves Can Be by SGALOVER
(Rated T, 36k, Gen)
Vesemir rescues Jaskier from a brief capture by Nilfgaard and takes him to Kaer Morhen, and Jaskier becomes part of a big witcher family.
Fresh Air by Slayer_of_Destiny
(Rated T, 10k, Geraskier)
After a difficult fight that required all of the wolves’ help, Geralt takes them back to where Jaskier is waiting. The other witchers are shocked at this human’s easy acceptance of them.
In the kitchen of a keep in the mountains by ArtanisNaanie
(Rated T, 12k, Geraskier)
The various inhabitents of Kaer Morhen as seen through their cooking. The food sections are fascinating and the plot is sweet.
Those songs we sung, those words we flung by persephonesprince
(Not Rated, 179k, endgame Geraskier)
Lambert and Eskel adopt Jaskier after the mountain.
Well Met by DahliaVanDare
(Rated G, 2k, Gen)
Eskel meets Jaskier after the mountain. Hilarious!
Forest Encounters and Two Witchers Walk Into a Tavern by TheSupernova
(T and G, 3k and 2k, Geraskier)
A series in which Jaskier meets Lambert and then Eskel.
The Best Laid Plans by @dhwty-writes
(Rated T, 5k, Geraskier)
Geralt is in love with Jaskier. In order to finally get him to admit his feelings, he devises a ten step plan with Lambert, Eskel and Vesemir.
Courting The Bard Of Your Dreams In 3 Easy Steps by bulletincookie
(Rated T, 10k, Jaskel)
Eskel falls in love with Jaskier at Kaer Morhen. Now he has to court him.
That Unwanted Animal by @softdarlingjaskier
(Rated T, 27k WIP, Jaskel)
Jaskier starts traveling with Eskel after the mountain and they go to Kaer Morhen together. I usually avoid incomplete works, but this one is really good!
Slightly Akin to Wonder by StarsInMyDamnEyes
(Rated G, 3k, Gen)
Jaskier is a retired witcher who changed his name. The other witchers don’t realize that this bard is the same person. Absolutely hilarious!
The Kaer Morhen Book Club by @jackironsidesfic
(Rated T, 10k, Geraskier)
The Kaer Morons have an annual book club in which they read books about witchers. One year, they find a novel in which a witcher is the romantic lead. AKA: Jaskier is a romance novelist and Geralt finds out. I don’t think Jaskier actually meets the other witchers in this one, but it’s so hilarious I couldn’t not rec it!
and the right to call it home by Chancy_Lurking
(Rated T, 11k, Geraskier and Lambden)
Lambert doesn’t trust the human that Geralt has brought to the keep. Things escalate. This one is angsty!
Winter Secrets by C4t1l1n4
(Rated G, 0.7k, Geraskier)
Jaskier overhears a conversation he doesn’t think he’s supposed to. It’s not exactly what he’s expecting either.
The Courting Ways of Wolves by @pillage-and-lute
(Rated T, 12k, Geraskier)
The inhabitents of Kaer Morhen help Geralt develop a plan for courting Jaskier, which he then carries out. This one has more Geraskier than Kaer Morons but it’s so sweet and funny that I had to mention it!
starlight; star-crossed by @julek
(Rated T, 10k, Geraskier)
Jaskier adopts the stray dog that’s been hanging around Kaer Morhen. Geralt absolutely isn’t jealous.
I’m also going to take this opportunity to shamelessly self-promote my own ficlet that I wrote because my love for this trope is uncontrollable!
The Wolves and the Bard by ForestWren
(Rated T, 0.5k, Gen with vaguely implied Geraskier)
In which Jaskier discovers that he has, quite by accident, acquired a family.
~
That’s it for now! Please feel free to chime in with your own fic recs – I’m always looking for more things to read! <3
Oh, thank you! You’re correct, Jaskier doesn’t meet the rest of the Wolves, but he will in the sequel:
‘Julek!’ A tall dark witcher that Geralt doesn’t recognise strides forward to enclose Jaskier in his arms.
‘Aiden!’ Jaskier exclaims. ‘I didn’t know you’d be here!’
Lambert has been left holding the reins of a pair of horses, and is looking nonplussed.
‘I’ll get the horses put away, shall I?’ he asks nobody in particular, and leads them off towards the stables.
I haven’t written a lot of Bard at KM fics. There’s Paper Crowns, an AU with a bunch of the Wolves at the beginning and then Geralt meets Jaskier; and Honey, That’s How It Sleeps, with Geralt bringing Jaskier home, although that one is fairly light on Wolves content. The sequel (in progress) already has a bit more.
(Also double yay, now I have a bunch of new things to read.)
Can I offer The Path Not Taken by sospes for this list? It’s M, Geraskier, 40k. Jaskier comes across an injured Eskel some months after The Mountain, and events concatenate from there.
Gonna second Path Not Taken ‘cause it’s GOOD FUCKIN SHIT.
the-hybrid-lua
